Reality Check.

i just ended ten phone calls to my friends who are currently at St. Micheal’s Retreat House for their NLE In-house review. albeit, i was pretty excited to call each and every one of them, lets say a day ender, to check how was their first day in their twenty day ordeal. as seconds tick in every conversation - laughs and the common “i miss you so much plus the typical jokes in between. but as every conversation with the ten people ended a phrase struck me hard the most. “i wish you was here”

kudos, really, to my brain for surpassing weeks on suppressing the thought that i am “academically delayed”. but when an unprecedented kick from limbo takes you back to that reality - i just found out again, it hurts. it concluded that it’s real and the spacial integer between you and friends (especially the ones you love the most) is a reality.

yes i am happy, i really am for them. but sometimes these things wont just pass by. sometimes or everytime do you think about yourselves at the same time? sanity wise, yes. but are we fit to survive a cycle of suppress-realize-suppress?

for one thing, i know Crying won’t make things better. fighting a battle already that is over, won’t do good either. time. yes, time.

the ten conversations over the phone just because i wanna abuse a moniker unlimited call, was definitely a reality check that i am this now ——- wait, AS OF NOW. what made me really happy inspite of it all, is i value the treasure i call: friendship.

the ten phone calls was a reality check not to ante up my sanity. it was reality check from some supreme being that when the darkest days are at hand. people will always be there to remind you. you are missed, not forgotten.

Thanks Globe, twas a successful transaction :)